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Hiya! My fiance is going to run Curse of Strahd (5e) again, and this time, he's forcing a good-aligned party so that the story doesn't go off the rails like what happened last time lmao. I'm super excited! I'm playing again, but I won't be meta-gaming or anything, and he's changing up a LOT of aspects about the campaign, so it'll be a semi-blind playthrough.
I'm gonna roll a Aasimar Paladin, and hope that I live through the entire thing. My Halfling Bard - Carmilla - managed to survive the entirety of the first CoS campaign, so here's to hoping for twice the luck! I'm sooooo excited to be playing CoS again. It's my literal favorite D&D thing ever. I love Strahd, he's one of my fave antagonists/characters ever.
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So I've been feeling lonely again when it comes to my kins. My Leon and I had another fallout, though this one was caused entirely by me. Mostly, I went off my meds, and my paranoia spiked out of control, and I ended up convincing myself that there were glaring problems when there really weren't any. I did it to myself, though I miss him terribly. I've managed to regain my talking privileges with them, but I'm not allowed to interact with any of their friends or their personal kin discord.
It makes me sad, tbh. I wish we could be close like we were, but that's my fault. It's something that I have to live with, and I'm not sure if I'll ever get back into their good graces fully. I'm blessed to even be able to talk to them after what I caused to happen. Sometimes I think about that a lot, and the guilt eats me up. It's eating me up right now. I just... want to go back. I want to feel like I'm part of a family again. But I guess that's all lost. Maybe one day, things will change.
Magic Mushrooms! 🍄 ...and other stuff
Mar. 16th, 2020 05:49 pmThe biggest thing lately is that I've been really itching to try some magic mushrooms! Or psilocybin mushrooms. You know, the psychedelic stuff. Mostly, I've been wanting to try them for spiritual and nature related purposes. I've heard from so many sources that these things allow you to get in touch with your deities and nature itself, and that the journey can often mold you as a person. That's my main interest in them. I've been scouting the local horse field in my area, along with some fallen logs and piles of wood chips for any mushrooms that may be sprouting. None so far, but wish me luck! They say they'll come to you when you most need them, and I honestly believe that.
My wedding was postponed because of the Coronavirus. I was so upset that I had to delay my wedding with my fiance. I just want to marry him already and be his official partner. I love him so much, that waiting is like torture. I was so excited too, because some of my friends were coming from out of state and it was going to be my first time meeting them face to face. They still plan on coming, but now I have to wait until this virus blows over, or at least until the people and government stop panicking so hard.
Other than that, life has been quite boring lately. I've been yearning to go out with some friends, do a little night drinking and partying like I used to do a few years ago. I miss it. Everyone has either moved away, gained a shit ton of responsibilities, or just grown distant over the years. It feels lonely, to be honest. I miss that feeling of unity, that free spirit attitude we all used to have. I'm still in my twenties, and damn it, I want to experience life to its fullest!
Long Time No See?
Feb. 15th, 2020 03:29 am- I quit my waitressing job about a year ago. I was being extorted for money and mistreated. So I said hell to the fuck no and left.
- I’m currently off my psyche meds, which turned out to be a huge mistake. My depression/anxiety/personality disorder has basically kept me in bed for the majority of the time. But I have an appointment set up soon to fix all of this and go back on my meds.
- I rekindled my friendship with that Leon I mentioned in one of my old posts. He wasn’t toxic, I was just brainwashed into thinking that. I’m glad we’re friends again. I’m currently in a populated Castlevania fictionkin server, and it’s great to be surrounded by other CV kins.
- I’m back to practicing witchcraft again, and it’s been a great outlet for me, emotionally and spiritually.
- I’m getting married soon! In about a month and a half, I’ll officially have tied the knot with my lover ahaha.
That’s basically the gist of things. Oh, and I found out recently that I was dangerously close to an actual cult leader back in 2013. Do you know the story of Andrew Blake, or ThanFiction? He was involved with the Supernatural fandom back in 2013. He was doing some cult-ish things back then, all under the guise of being a fictive/soulbonder. It’s very similar to what happened with the Final Fantasy House way back in the early 2000s. Well, I followed, reblogged, and interacted with him back in 2013, unknowing of all the creepy stuff he’d been doing. Spooky.
I have also discovered an endless love for sushi. Aaaaaaaaa, sushi. So good. The best I’ve had so far is the Fire Island Roll (spicy tuna, salmon, crab, cream cheese, and asparagus) and the Yum Yum Roll (crab, cream cheese, cucumber, and avocado). So, so good.
Ummm... I don’t have much else to say at the moment. I’ll try to update over here more often! Even if a lot of people don’t see it, it’s nice to have a place to write down the on-goings of my life, and my thoughts and feelings.
