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Birthday Woes
Jan. 11th, 2019 03:45 amI turned 24 today. I worked a slow as all hell 10 hour shift. My foot pain carried over, but I managed it with brief breaks in between tasks. I felt pretty lonely all day. Tired, too. I wanted nothing more than to curl up in bed and sleep. I’m glad I have a day off tomorrow. My psych doctor put me on some new medication that’s supposed to lessen my depressive episodes. So now I’m taking two different anti-depressants. Fun.
I guess today wasn’t all bad. My father surprised me with a visit at work. He gave me two cards - one from him and one from mom. Of course his was the funny one. I genuinely laughed. He drew the silliest pic of a bird with its eyes bulging out. Mom’s card was the emotional one. I don’t cry often or easy, but I did once I read it. Despite everything, I do have two parents that truly love and cherish me. They may not always understand how I am, but they always support me, no matter what. I’m trying not to take that for granted. Not many people are lucky enough to have parents like that.
I might get Chinese food tomorrow. Treat myself with some orange chicken and rice. I’m trying to drink more water, but the caffeine headaches are awful. I still need to watch my diet. I find myself wanting to either binge eat, or starve myself. There’s never any inbetween. But I’ve come a long way after so many years of covering up my trauma with outrageous food intake. I have to remember that I’m actually in shape now. I have muscles and endurance and good cardio, even if my body doesn’t necessarily reflect it. Curse you PCOS, for making it damn near impossible to lose weight, despite all the physical work I’m doing these days.
(I also have the urge to marathon either Minecraft or Dragon Age: Inquisition, but I know with my demanding work schedule that I won’t get far hhhhhhh)
I guess today wasn’t all bad. My father surprised me with a visit at work. He gave me two cards - one from him and one from mom. Of course his was the funny one. I genuinely laughed. He drew the silliest pic of a bird with its eyes bulging out. Mom’s card was the emotional one. I don’t cry often or easy, but I did once I read it. Despite everything, I do have two parents that truly love and cherish me. They may not always understand how I am, but they always support me, no matter what. I’m trying not to take that for granted. Not many people are lucky enough to have parents like that.
I might get Chinese food tomorrow. Treat myself with some orange chicken and rice. I’m trying to drink more water, but the caffeine headaches are awful. I still need to watch my diet. I find myself wanting to either binge eat, or starve myself. There’s never any inbetween. But I’ve come a long way after so many years of covering up my trauma with outrageous food intake. I have to remember that I’m actually in shape now. I have muscles and endurance and good cardio, even if my body doesn’t necessarily reflect it. Curse you PCOS, for making it damn near impossible to lose weight, despite all the physical work I’m doing these days.
(I also have the urge to marathon either Minecraft or Dragon Age: Inquisition, but I know with my demanding work schedule that I won’t get far hhhhhhh)
