Mathias Cronqvist - My Primary Soulbond
Feb. 17th, 2020 12:33 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
cronqvistsHiya everyone! I figured I’d talk about my primary fictive/soulbond. This involves a lot of ranting and some probably not so eloquent writing, so please bear with me.
Mathias Cronqvist (Castlevania: Lament of Innocence) - Mathias was the final piece in my awakening. For so long, I’d struggled to place why I felt so... so in tune with this character. I mean, I had always had characters that I liked and even worshipped, but the feelings I had here were neither of those things. I felt emotionally and spiritually attached to Mathias. His pain was my pain, his anger was my anger. I would take personal offense at people who unfairly criticized him, as if they were directing their insults at me instead. His grief over his wife, his disbelief that Leon wouldn’t join him... I felt those things at my core. I slowly began to realize that his mannerisms were bleeding into my own. I began to remember things about him, things that were never covered in the games or otherwise. I realized that I was looking at these memories as if they were my own. My thoughts began to be in a voice that was not entirely my own, but like a mishmash of his and mine. I found myself referring to Mathias’ qualities and possessions as my own. His relationships, they felt like mine, too. it was like suddenly, there were two of us. It was as if we had merged, two souls inhabiting one body. It was almost frightening, to be quite honest. I’d never experienced anything like that before. I never thought it could be possible. It had to be made-up, right? But no... it was as real as it could get.
Mathias Cronqvist (Castlevania: Lament of Innocence) - Mathias was the final piece in my awakening. For so long, I’d struggled to place why I felt so... so in tune with this character. I mean, I had always had characters that I liked and even worshipped, but the feelings I had here were neither of those things. I felt emotionally and spiritually attached to Mathias. His pain was my pain, his anger was my anger. I would take personal offense at people who unfairly criticized him, as if they were directing their insults at me instead. His grief over his wife, his disbelief that Leon wouldn’t join him... I felt those things at my core. I slowly began to realize that his mannerisms were bleeding into my own. I began to remember things about him, things that were never covered in the games or otherwise. I realized that I was looking at these memories as if they were my own. My thoughts began to be in a voice that was not entirely my own, but like a mishmash of his and mine. I found myself referring to Mathias’ qualities and possessions as my own. His relationships, they felt like mine, too. it was like suddenly, there were two of us. It was as if we had merged, two souls inhabiting one body. It was almost frightening, to be quite honest. I’d never experienced anything like that before. I never thought it could be possible. It had to be made-up, right? But no... it was as real as it could get.
This was helped along by another fictionkin. My Leon. He helped me come to understand and realize what was happening to me. Without his help, Mathias may have never manifested inside of me. It makes me sad to think that I could have completely ignored and missed out on him. I’m glad to have Mathias with me, and I’m even happier that I’m blessed to have the Leon from my timeline. I’ve met others as well. Alucards, Trevors, Richters, Lisas. I treat them all like my family. Some people don’t realize how comforting it can be to have others around that are similar to you.
Well, that’s enough talking for now. I don’t want to make some gargantuan post about this just quite yet. Maybe later on down the line, I’ll delve into Mathias’ memories and his ties to Leon. For now, this’ll have to do for anyone interested.